She fell for a guy she knew it could never be hers. It was just like Horacio said on Rayuela As if you could pick love, as if it were not a lightning bolt that splits your bones and leaves you staked out in the middle of the courtyard. The pain of knowing he was so close but yet so far was anything she had, but that was better that the nothing, the so scary nothing of a reality without his presence near by.
She was an expert on masks, or so she thought. Cuz everyday she walked by him, on the stairs or in the hallway, a casual Hello, half a smile or one of those Have a good day some girls can say with their eyes, and that was it, that was all she dared to do, even tough inside she felt the burning need to jump into his strong arms and his deep dark eyes that sometimes had a glimpse of sweetness.
And then, it happened. Not that either of them had planned.
It was a rainy afternoon. Weekend was coming, so most people had left, but there he was, organizing items on some shelves in a wardrobe below a stairs when she entered looking for something. She entered and at first both were surprised of running into each other.
There was no need of words.
She smiled kind of embarrassed, but this time the masks were off, and he could read right into her soul. So he simply stood up and walk to her, so slowly, or so it seemed to her because her knees started trembling. When he was just a few inches from her, rapidly but softly took her face with his hands and stole a long, deep, breathless kiss that she could not avoid to answer.
When he finally stopped and took a moment to look at her again, his eyes were saying I knew it, I always have. In just a few seconds, with the skills of an expert, he unbuttoned her blouse and pulled up her skirt, while she ripped off his pants and shirt in a rapture of braveness. Some clothes on the floor, her back against a shelf and there they were, making exceptional, passionate love. Even when they shouldn’t, even if it was wrong, in those moments, it felt right.
But moments can’t be frozen in time and instants can’t be stretched no matter how much we wish it. And that’s life, measured in the memories that take our breathe away.